The First Week is Over...I Survived

It is Monday evening and I literally just woke up from a much needed power nap before I start reviewing today's lecture material, which is on neural tissues and reading histological slides (yay). I have now realized what studying in med school is really like and I could not be more thankful for the program that I am in. I have now realized that my study habits that I have so precisely mastered in my undergraduate degree, does not necessarily transfer over as easily at this level. This is what my typical day looked like last week:

Wake-up: 6:00am
Lecture: 7:30-11:30am
Lunch: 11:30-12:00pm
Academic Success lecture: 12:00-1:00pm
Usually anatomy lecture/Meeting/Reviewing questions: 2:00-3:00pm
Study: 4:00pm-9:00pm
Sleep: 10pm-6:00am

After leaving campus, I take about an hour off and study from 4:00pm-9:00pm reviewing important concepts that I learned that day, and re-writing a bulk of my notes and highlighting terms I am not familiar with. I have realized this past week that it is WAY too time consuming. I did well on my quiz today (we have an individual and group quizzes every Monday, and today we had another anatomy lecture after an intellectually stimulating morning, it was an extremely long and exhausting day..but it is definitely practice for the island in May), but I felt that I "over-studied" if that makes any sense. I learned almost too much of everything, and not each subject really well. I literally memorized entire chapters, where I needed to know only the pathway. This week I have made the decision to re-read and review the textbooks while highlighting important terms, and only then will I write out pathways and diagrams on my white-board. This will save me time and will help me memorize the material in a more "active" studying type way. I will see how it goes!

I am slowly realizing the fact that I am in this for the long haul...four more years and potentially four more years on top of that of residency for my future Physiatry program. The weird part is...I am actually excited about it. We are such complex human beings and learning about how our bodies fight off pathogens without the use of vaccines is absolutely amazing or more specifically how B cell and T cells undergo somatic recombination to create specific antibody receptors for certain antigens in our body..all without us knowing. This process is happening all the time. I also love collaborating in groups, and trying to come up with the "best" answer in a clinical scenario, and helping others succeed and understand complex material along the way.

I am definitely tired, but I think that was my own fault of my time-management this past week. I am not used to having all this free time in the late afternoon/evenings so I filled it with studying instead. I also want to point out that yes, it is definitely a lot busier than undergrad, but for future MERP students out there it is definitely doable. I know I am only one quiz in, but if you study properly and set aside some time for yourself each week, you will do fine. You can do anything you put your mind to, and I honestly believe that we are always learning, so why not challenge that learning?

Off to make some dinner! Steve and I are having chicken (for Steve), Veggie patty (for me), and big bowl of ceasar salad (for both...no bacon bits though :)). Yum.

Keep me in your thoughts this week and know that even though I don't have time to post every week, I am thinking about it 24/7!

Bye for now,

E xo

I just love this. It was too funny not to post.

Working out: my outlet.

G-Protein Coupled Receptor! Have not taken pharmacology, but taught it to myself :)

I love my agenda

Arrowtown! Because I am missing NZ way too much.

Lake Mistletoe! How fitting for this time of year :)

The Time Has Come

Hello my fellow readers, the time has officially come for me to start school this week! I have check-in this Thursday, in which I get my laptop configured to the system and meet my classmates, and Friday I get my picture taken for my student card and get access codes, a key fob, etc. I have come to realize that I may not be able to blog once a week like I had hoped. The reason for this is that current and past students are saying a day in the life of a MERP students looks like this:

8:00am-12:00pm: Lectures (Two 2-hour class lectures, one from 8-10, another from 10-12)
12:00-2:00pm: Lunch Break/Study Time
2:00-3:00pm: Academic Success Meeting OR Anatomy Lab

I am pretty much gone all day, and after I get back home, workout for an hour, eat dinner, and look over my lecture notes from that morning, it is already 10:00pm and I need to go to bed to get up and do it all over again. Yay. I know my scheduling is highly determined by time management skills, and thankfully, that is the one thing I know for sure I can do properly. From organizing my life in undergrad to the point where I would actually schedule "sleep" in my agenda, I know I can figure out my days here in Toronto. I am definitely excited to get started!

I will try my best to blog every Sunday or Monday (Ok..I know today is Tuesday...I am already not staying true to my word!), but by the sounds of it, I will be a lot busier than I thought I would be. I will know more in the next couple days as they will officially give us a schedule, outlining our days more in-depth. I also wanted to mention in this blog post of how grateful I am for my supporters. People have said some amazing and motivational statements and have messaged me some tear-jerking messages. From people who I know and love, to people who I would never think would read my blog, it is truly amazing to feel the love and support from all of you. Since moving up November 1st to North York, a month early before my school semester commencing, I really had some days where I questioned if I am doing the right thing. From a massive loan, to leaving my family, missing weddings, engagements, and birthday parties, I know I would be sacrificing a lot in the next couple years. A pleasant email from a fellow high school friend (yea Sydenham! lol) sent me the nicest message, which was facilitated by her reading my last blog post to encourage an act of kindness: "call or message someone who you haven't in many years, just to see how they are doing." She mentioned to me that: "If you aren't moving forward, what's the point? Staying stagnant does nothing, but if you go for something, at best you get what you have worked for, at worst it's a learning experience. What's there to lose? Even if you aren't sure if you are doing the right thing school or life or whatever, you are moving forward! And that's never a mistake." Wow thank you so much Chelsea! That message came at the perfect time :) Let's go for a drink soon!

All in all, I just wanted to say thank-you. If you have stumbled across this blog last week or have been a follower since Day 1...Thank You. This journey of mine will definitely have its ups and downs, and thankfully I have amazing people in my life to help me along the way. I am off to look over some notes, not much longer where I can voluntarily decide to do this, soon it will be "AHHH look over everything right now!" Highlight. Re-write notes. Write on the white board. Draw flow chart. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. I know I am a nerd when I can't wait to do this.

Bye for now! And Happy December! <-- Do people say this? I don't know, but enjoy !

-E xo

What I am learning today :)

It has been one month since I had to put my cat, Nelly, down. Wow how I miss her. 

Open your eyes, silly! lol 

My cousin, Dana, and I meeting our childhood and adult inspiration!

Typical. Byron Bay, Australia!

Mount Cook, NZ

Learning from the best. Dmitry Klokov

Stephen getting some tips from the Russian Olympic Weightlifter! 

Get Inspired

Over the past couple weeks I have been lucky enough to travel home to my parent's farm for a visit and have met some amazing new people up here in North York. I wanted to write this post to let people know how important it is to surround yourself with people who are not only positive, but who want the best in life for you. As I have grown to the ripe old age of 26 (ok ok, I feel a lot older than 26), it has come to light the differences between close friends and acquaintances. As I have gotten older, I can feel myself wanting the comfort of having about five friends to call my "close friends" and I am totally okay with that number. I feel as though it is hard to direct your energy and your attention to about twenty friends, and at the end of the day, how many of those twenty could you call at any hour of the night to talk about something really important?

The reason that positivity in one's life is so important is that it tends to directly affect who you are. In 2010, I had a very bad year. Basketball sucked, long hours at the gym, Steve and I broke up, my parents were going through some tough times, and school was harder than ever. If it was not for the people and my teammates that surrounded me everyday, I honestly felt like giving up. I look back now and there are some days, if not weeks, that I remember laying in bed thinking "I do not know if I could get up and do this all again tomorrow with a smile on my face." But that's the thing, you don't have to act happy all the time, you just need to get up and get it done on days where you do not feel like doing anything. Like the infamous line goes "Everything happens for a reason", in which I some-what agree with, but at the end of the day I feel that we are in control of our actions. I could have packed up and gone home, some of my credits would have transferred back home in Canada, I would be a year behind in my studies, I would be a regular student with no basketball, with a lot of debt. So I sucked it up, surrounded myself with some amazing people, kicked butt in practice, and studied hard. Life is not about putting a smile on because you have to, it is about knowing that somewhere else in this big world of ours, someone would love to be in your position right now. Someone would love to play basketball and graduate with no debt, and someone would love to make those friendships that you so deeply needed to get through those tough times. Life is way too short to settle for something less than you are capable of and you are SO much stronger than you think you are. I learned that the hard way.

When my sisters and I were little, and if we got hurt playing in the mud, riding a horse, or a grade 5 little mischievous boy broke our heart, my dad would always say: "You're a Cronk girl, nothing can hurt you". To this day, I literally keep that saying with me. Because even though my dad was saying that to stop the tears from slowly running down our cheeks, there is a lot of truth to that statement. I do not think I would have made it through the U.S without knowing what hard work really is, and persevering when your life seems like it's going to hell in a hand-basket. My parents have done a wonderful job in showing us that nothing in this world comes easy, and that you might as well work hard now, so you can enjoy anything you want in life later. Thanks to them, I can not wait to begin this medical school journey. 

What I want you to try and do this month (it is the season for giving right?!):

-Be the reason someone wakes up one morning and smiles
-Call or message someone who you haven't in many years, just to see how the are doing

-Plan a trip for next year. Just for you. Even if it is for a night

-Talk about something that you have needed to get off your chest with that certain someone

-Be gentle to those that seem like they do not need it

-Do not go to bed angry

- Kiss your pets a lot!

Off to The Humane Society in North York to see if we can walk some dogs today! Stephen's idea!

Bye for now, 

-E 

Instagram: @d1todr

My parents and my little sister's graduation! (Please note my Dad's horse shirt and buckle lol)

Love them.

Abseiling down a waterfall in Da Lat, Vietnam!

Beautiful Queenstown. New Zealand

Love these girls. Vietnam <3

Had to get a picture with Cow Lane!

Find someone who loves to go on adventures with you!

On our farm :)

A team that parties together, stays together! lol

Cranial Nerves

It is Sunday morning around 10am and as I sit in my wonderfully tiny abode, I am surrounded by textbooks, highlighters, a white board, and various colours of markers. The time has officially come for me to start my studying, and sadly, I could not be more excited.

My course does not start until the first week of December, so "why is she studying?" you may ask yourself..and for an ingenious reply, I say "because I'm Emma Cronk." For the people that know me, I study because I actually enjoy it. I read to learn. I do not read casually, I do not "read for fun" like my little sister who finished all The Hunger Games books in about five days (crazy girl!). I have learned to read with intent on learning something, and I have always been that way. Not saying curling up on a couch with some tea and a great novel is a bad thing, it is just something that I have not been able to do ever in my life. Throughout undergrad, I had to read frantically to keep up to the pace of basketball and my courses, I had no time to grab an interesting read and sneak away into the library, I had to study to make up for lost time in the classroom. As I sit here now with all of my books open in front of me, I can't help but sit back and remember the last time I actually studied. Yes I studied for my MCAT, which was brutal, and yes I studied for my CPR-C course and Standard First Aid, but when was the last time I was really excited about the material and information was easy to grasp because so? That would be the year 2011. Way back. I say way back because in a couple months that will be four years ago...do I still have what it takes to study? Do I even remember how to do it? Do I still have the discipline to get up at 6am and look over my material?

The answers to these questions were answered loud and clear on Friday night when I was studying cranial nerves. Yes...this was my exciting Friday night. I had read in numerous blogs and from asking advice from current and past medical students that buying a white board with markers is the BEST studying tool. It is a form of active studying, rather than passive studying. The difference is huge. For example, you can read a textbook in a stationary position for hours, maybe underlining some key phrases or maybe even highlighting, but are you really learning the material? Has it really sunk in? This is what I call passive studying, as you are not fully engaging your brain about the material. When you are up at a white board, you are moving, you are engaged, you are writing out important phrases and drawing images over and over and over again. You are using your brain's full capacity. You are actively studying the material so your brain can reiterate it on a quiz or exam. For me, writing things out over and over again ingrains it in my mind, and for medical school, you can not just memorize verbatim, you need to be able to understand how all the information ties into one another. So there I am, cracking open my brand new "Essential Clinic Anatomy" textbook for the first time since purchasing it ($15 down from $100..booyah!...gotta love Amazon) and opening the chapter to cranial nerves. For current MERPers and past MERPers, (the course that I am enrolled in before I attend Ross University), they say if you are eager and want to look over material before you begin, study glycolysis, TCA, and cranial nerves. Those will haunt you forever in your medical school path and give students a lot of trouble. Throughout my undergrad and majoring in Biology, my glycolysis background is pretty strong, as well as TCA also called citric acid cycle or Krebs cycle, so I thought I would start with the cranial nerves. All 12 of them. Yikes. Here is my mnemonic:

Oh
Oh
Oh
To
Touch
A
Female's
Vagina
Gives
Vinnie
A
Hard-On

So rude eh? haha But I found that many medical students need some enlightenment from all the studying they are doing, that almost every mnemonic has some rude connotation! Hilarious and it definitely helps with remembering. If you are ever bored, I promise you, you will get a kick out of googling some medical mnemonics. So what are the nerves?

Olfactory
Optic
Oculomotor
Trochlear
Trigeminal
Abducent
Facial
Vestibulocochlear
Glossopharyngeal
Vagus
Accessory Spinal/Spinal accessory nerve
Hypoglossal

I did that without looking at my notes! That was since Friday night. I think I have them memorized. What I learned from Friday and the fact of studying pretty hard four years later, is that I have nothing to worry about. I learned the nerves and most of their function by writing them on the white board only twice. Fortunately, I have a photographic memory, meaning I can remember the terms I had written previously even when the white board is blank. I remember how to train my brain to study, and by using this white board and coloured markers, I am ready to tackle this material. I got excited knowing it came back to me really quickly, and it felt good knowing I still got it :) For all students, high school, medical, law, or still in undergrad, I fully believe that our brains are structured to learn anything we want to, no matter how complex. If you need a change from the traditional passive studying, buy yourself a white board, get in a group and start practicing. It will honestly change the way you learn material. It definitely worked for me in the past, and even more so now.

Off to dive in a bit deeper with our amazing brain of ours, wow we are complicated beings, but I don't need to be in medical school to know that!

Bye for now,

--E xo

Here is a picture from Friday of me studying:

Study study study!

Our cute little apartment. Sorry for the clothes to the right, they are now washed! 

All four sisters together on Halloween the night before I moved to North York 

Found this picture while trying to find a picture of our apartment, a physician I shadowed in Vietnam, I miss her!

"You Will Have No Time"

The one thing that I wish I had not done before medical school was read an enormous amount of blog posts detailing the trials and tribulations of current medical students. Somewhat similar, but vastly different at the same time, medical students do not hold back how they are feeling at times in their respective blogs (I will probably be one of those students soon enough). The more I read, the more that I am fearful of the rigorous curriculum, but then I have to remember that I obtained a Bachelor of Science degree while simultaneously playing collegiate basketball; I know I can do the volume of work. The main theme that I have gathered from these blogs is the lack of time to do pretty much anything other than studying. STUDY STUDY STUDY they write, and to which I completely agree with this statement, I feel that a balance in medical school is essential to success.

Before even heading down to the island of Dominica, I already understand that my time will be limited, as I will be in lecture halls, anatomy labs, clinical labs, and community events for the majority of each day. I know that I will deliberately have to make time to do the things that will keep me sane. One of these scheduled hours will be working out and staying active. For the people that know me quite well (or even slightly), know that working out (for me) allows clarity of the mind, burning off steam, and getting up out of my study chair to gain a sense of different scenery. I feel as though if you do not have that one thing a day that you can mindlessly do for one hour out of the day, your brain will literally overload itself with all of the medical information. Some posts I have read: "You HAVE to make time for yourself, whether it is 20 min or 10 min each day...", but I do not think that is enough time to have for yourself to get away from the hustle and bustle of the island or wherever you are in medical school. Having that 60 minute window to fully let everything go, from worries, frustrations, fears, and stress, is key to staying on track in becoming a physician.

My program for MERP does not begin until December 9th, and I am trying not to let blog posts damper my eagerness. I have all the required textbooks and will be slowly going over material (high yield material like glycolysis and TCA), which can only help me when the information increases in complexity. I remember vividly at my time in Binghamton where I literally studied for twelve hours on a Saturday and twelve hours on a Sunday. We had a tournament that week and I had missed a majority of my classes. I had a lab final I had to make up, a population ecology paper I needed to hand in, and on top of that I had an exam in Microbiology and Genetics. In addition, we also had "optional" workouts that weekend, and for every student-athlete reading this, we know that "optional" really means "mandatory". In my interview for Ross University I said proudly that I have done the twelve hour days of studying, and I am aware of  the sacrifices it takes to become successful in academia. It is hard to portray how hard I have worked in undergrad, as there were a few tearful phone calls home throughout the four years detailing that I do not know if I can get up and do it all over again the next day. Subsequently, here I am. I survived and that is the same attitude that I am bringing with me. Nothing can stand in my way and I cannot wait to learn the material that MERP is going to throw at me!

I am off to look over my Histology and Essential Clinical Anatomy textbooks, is it sad that I am actually excited? haha

Bye for now,

--E xo

Some more NZ pictures for you guys :)

Wishing you an early Happy Holidays!

Steve's favourite picture from the trip haha

Queenstown :)

Byron Bay

CrossFit in Auckland!

Enjoying that NZ sun :)

Bungee Jump in NZ!

The water was so blue!

Change

Whirlwind. This one word has literally summed up that past two weeks of my insanely fast-paced life. From moving completely out of Kingston into North York, Stephen and I can finally take a deep breath in and exhale veryyyy slowly.

Let me start off by saying that Kingston has treated us incredibly well. From making an impact at CrossFit Limestone almost immediately arriving from Australia (thanks Bob) and Stephen securing a Fitness Manager spot at Goodlife downtown, we really have enjoyed our time here. On our last coaching day this past Saturday, I had to hold back the tears as it would be my last time coaching the CrossFit Limestone Juniors class. I loved coaching these little guys and to see how much energy they had at 9am on a Saturday, I wish I could bottle up some of it and take it with me to medical school. Their 'thank yous' and high-fives at the end of each class always brightened my day, and with Stephen coaching the pre-teens in the adjacent room at the same time, we would always swap a quick smile in-between activities...you could say I was truly happy coaching on Saturdays :) After saying good-bye to our dear friends at CrossFit Limestone, it was off to the big city! Crazy how December is slowly creeping up on us...even though the weather indicates winter is definitely headed our way.

The reason I titled this post "Change" is because of a tremendous shift in my life that I had to make last week. I had to put my eighteen-year old cat down that I have had with me since I was twelve years old. For some, this may seem trivial, but let me tell you...she had and will always have a very special place in my heart. A local vet had found her on the streets of Sydenham and when I was in Grade 7, my mother and I had stopped into the animal hospital where the Doctor had been waiting for us...he knew who to call when there was an animal needing a great place to live...the Cronk household. As soon as I saw her I realized she was not a kitten, and she must have had a litter a couple weeks before the Vet found her, she was cuddly, adorable, and in an instant I named her "Nelly"..she would be my best friend for fourteen years. In the eight months that I was in Australia, I missed her greatly and for the few months that she was healthy in Kingston with us...I never would have traded those times with her for anything. She is now buried at my parents home and while I was with my mom at the vet, my Dad (the craftsman that he is), created a cross with an engraving of the dates that she was in my life: "1998-2014. Nelly <3 Emma" I couldn't hold back the tears as my Dad and I buried her peacefully and that my Dad took the time to create something so beautiful for the one constant thing in my life for the past fourteen years. Wow...I am very lucky to have such a supportive family.

Now that the sappy part of this post is over and that I know Nelly is with me on this next chapter of my life, I can move forward knowing I have made the right decision and that I gave her the most enjoyable life..snuggles and all. I received a letter in the mail today with her paw print on it from the animal hospital, before they wrapped her up, they inked one of her paws and gently placed it on a piece of paper with a heart around it...that was an indication that it is time to blog post once again and begin the healing process as writing does make me feel better :)

Thank you to everyone who has been such a supporter of this blog, my medical adventure, and Stephen and I. The amount of people who have personally messaged me and posts on my wall, it truly warms my heart that I have a massive support group. Stephen said it perfectly when we were at one of the most bubbliest and caring fellow CrossFit coach's house, who is not only a friend to us, but a great mother and a badass CrossFitter, Amy, that he did not expect when he moved to Kingston to gain about twenty new friends...it has been a blessing and one that we will take with us to the MERP program which starts December 9th. Thank you all for taking the jump with us and for believing in me that I can accomplish these next four years of becoming a physician.

I read a quote yesterday that said: " Jump now and worry about the landing later..." I find that very fitting for the time in my life right now.

To end this post, here are a couple pictures of my beautiful girl, Nelly. xoxo.

Also, some CrossFit Limestone pictures :)

-E

Love her 

She was always so cuddly

Right with me studying that MCAT

The best study buddy

We will miss these little guys!

Loved my Tuesday night group!

Meeting Klokov again in Kingston! (First time was in Australia)

We will miss this gym. 

My life in a Nutshell

After leaving the United States in 2012, I felt like I was at an academic crossroad. From literally training forty-five hours per week PLUS university studies, to sitting on the couch at my parents' farm twiddling my thumbs with no responsibility...it took a good three weeks for me to stop having a pity party for myself. I remember I would get so angry for no reason, maybe because I missed the regiment of basketball and school? Maybe it was that I just missed basketball? Maybe I did not want to be at my parents' farm at 23 years of age with an amazing degree with nothing to show for it? I had to slowly take a step back from my life and ask myself: "What do you want to do now?" For me, this was a very tough decision. Do I go overseas to play professionally? Do I apply to Queen's like every single Kingston girl does? Do I apply to Toronto and pack up my stuff and head for the city? What I decided to do was: work.

I have realized over my five total years in the states was the fact that student- athletes have no time to have a job. Basketball was our job. We would eat, sleep, train, repeat...and we needed every ounce of spare time to study and eat more (ok..maybe that was just me!). I remember being on an away competition to Maine University, which is a grueling 10 hour bus ride to the most coldest gym EVER..ok..maybe because it is used for both a hockey rink and basketball court, but I could never forget that gym. It is the most dreaded away game that each athlete despises because you miss at least two to three classes that week. For me, missing three classes of organic chemistry, plus my labs puts me back about a weeks worth of reading. I was lucky enough to meet some amazing students in my classes that would help me out tremendously, with giving me photocopied lecture notes, stapled together, and dated (Sarah..I don't know what I would do without you!) I always made sure my little light above my seat was bright enough to study on the bus, as I would always bring my books with me. If the entire bus was pitch dark and everyone was sleeping, you would notice a little light in the back where I would be going over what I had missed in those couple days. It was a tough four years...to say the least. Point of the anecdote: I had no work experience. Problem: real world likes work experience.

I decided to move to Kingston and work at lululemon athletica. It was there where I had met some amazing people who motivated me beyond my own expectation of myself. It was refreshing. Very refreshing and it was during that time I really learned about myself. I still talk to many "lemons" and I am grateful to have worked at such a fantastic Kingston store. That being said, I finally had some customer service experience, cash handling, shift-work, late night and early morning product stocking-I could feel myself itching to move on to the next best thing. Traveling! I was fortunate enough to travel the world before I finally settled down and applied to medical school. I encourage everyone to go to a country they would love to go to..just do it. Set a date. Buy a plane ticket. Buy a cute dress (or shirt and pants for the guys :) ) and just go. You will be forever changed. I promise you. From Australia, New Zealand, to Vietnam, I have learned tremendously about myself that I could have never learned inside a classroom. It gave me the motivation to figure out what is important to me, which I am so thankful for. So here I am, at age 26, finally pursuing medicine and I do not think I would have gotten here if I did not work, travel, reconnect with Stephen (that is a whole other blog post haha), and really find myself. Being a student-athlete is such hard work and having that end so abruptly, it is easy to lose yourself.

It is Monday Oct 20th and in about a two weeks I will be moving to Toronto to start my pre-medical course and I could not be more excited. I am anxious and nervous as well, but as soon as I start studying again I know I will remember how to do it! I am so thankful for my support system that I have, and for every blog post that I have ever read about medical school-a support system is the number one thing to have before you venture off. I am so lucky.

I have attached some pictures of my travels last year as they are too epic not to share!

Bye for now,

-E xo

Hamner Forest

King's Cliff

Hobbiton!

Mount Cook

Clay Cliffs

Lake Tekapo

Waitomo Glow Worm Caves

Byron Bay

Dr. Manh, the anesthesiologist in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam
(Yes..the scrubs don't fit me!)