Fighting The Fatigue

Hello my followers! I know...I know..it has been awhile since I have written and as I have come out of my hibernation which is called medical school, I noticed that I am getting about 45-50 views on D1toDR every day....wow..I will try and blog more I promise!

A lot has happened since I last posted, some good and some bad, but for the most part...things have been going okay. We are in Week 7 out of 15 of first semester, and things have definitely picked up a bit. Okay..things have picked UP A LOT AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON. Whew..okay...now that's out of the way, we have been learning some pretty complex medical processes but I have to keep telling myself to take it one day at a time. For the people that know me, I LOVE study sheets with colour...and I mean lots of colour. I am finding currently that I am running out of hours in the day to create my study sheets as the information is way too dense. I pick and choose now as to what I condense into study sheets and what I decide to print and highlight from the slides. What am I trying to say is that my study habits change all the time. With every exam. With every lecture. And that's OKAY. Some students have now decided to go to class, because it is very easy to fall behind with mediasiting lectures.

Our next exam is July 7th (My mom's birthday wish should bring me some luck!) and that is our 3rd out of 5 total exams. So far we have have had two exams which my grades reflected how hard I worked. I studied a lot...and I mean...about 12-13 hours a day. Every break is timed and factored in carefully and even skype calls are limited to about 30 minutes. Time is of the essence and my friends and family are more than understanding that my nights never end at 9pm, more midnight or 1am so quick chats are the best chats :) We had our lab practical last week as well and that was definitely an experience. Knowing me, I am pretty good under pressure, but the sound of those bell ringer exams get me very nervous and knowing you have only 60 seconds to answer a question before the next bell sounds off is pretty nerve-wracking. Ross University has an AMAZING anatomy lab and probably the best faculty, instructors, and Teaching Assistants. We have a 25 cadaver lab, and that is only heard of throughout only a handful of med schools in the U.S. Ross does an amazing job at preparing us for the lab practical with having the anatomy lab open from 7am to 11pm every day, even weekends. There is ample time to study and it is actually quite creepy being there alone...with 25 bodies..on a Friday night...and its the 13th..ok kidding...I don't think it was the 13th. But still...it's definitely creepy.

But let me be honest with you tonight and say that I am actually really tired. Week 7 is where I can finally say that I had to fight through the fatigue these past couple days. I actually fell asleep sitting up for who knows how long with my headphones on listening to a lecture...that's pretty bad. I think it's pretty safe to say that making it to Week 7 and now feeling this way is pretty good, but I know that I need to get back to my regular schedule. It is 9:20pm right now and I physically and mentally couldn't study, so I thought: "I am going to write tonight." It honestly makes me feel better, and I feel that you guys can get a sense of how I feel in times like these. Medical school is a whole new level. You think you know long hours. You think you know what tired feels like. But when you are $20,000 in and you mentally can't read another sentence, anxiety kicks in because you KNOW you need to know this by the next day as it is only going to get harder. You have to know when to fight it or when to let it be. Tonight: I am letting it be. I am tired. Really tired. But will wake up tomorrow at 6am and get back to my workout routine and hopefully things will kick back into gear.

Thanks for your support and following my adventure, don't forget to follow me on instagram: @d1todr. Off to bed and will hopefully wake up refreshed!

Bye for now,

-E xo

Pics:

First patient interview attire!

Oh how young I look and I miss my hair!

That NCAA life.

From one beach to another with this guy :)

I love him.

In the T dot!

It's Okay to be Okay

Hey everyone!

It is a beautiful Thursday morning here at Ross, and let me tell you...I haven't been able to enjoy it as I have been inside all this week studying my buns off! This week marks one month since the May 2015 incoming class has been on this island of Dominica. I know everyone says "time flies", but wow...when you are wishing you had one more hour left in you to study and it is already midnight, to wake up at 6:30am to do it all over again..you think the days would go slow..but it surely has felt the opposite. I wanted to do a quick blog post this morning before my lectures are posted online, so I thought..."I think I have time to blog!".

For those of you that just read that and questioned: "Lectures posted online?!" Yes. That is correct. I am officially a "mediasiter." What that means is that here at Ross U, classes are not mandatory, they already have your money, so they really don't care how you use your time to get the information you need. What mediasite offers is a way to watch the lectures on your computer, with options like play, stop, rewind, fast-forward, and speed up at 1.4X, 1.6X, and 2X. The biggest thing with medical school is finding your study strategy...and finding it quickly. After the first week of classes, I knew that it was consuming way too much of my day to go to class from 8-12pm and then do my study sheets per class, which was taking me another 6 hours. So I thought..if I could watch the lectures on about 1.6X speed and do my study sheets simultaneously, I could leave a couple hours a night to study that material. So voila...I am a mediasiter as of Week 2. By no means am I perfect at keeping a schedule and there are days where I feel so overwhelmed with material I just want to curl up in my bed and pull the sheet over me, but I take each hour slowly and try to absorb everything like a sponge.

That is why I wanted to title this post as such, because there have been many times thus far where I haven't felt rockin'..and that's okay. I have learned that everyone has their unique story in being here, and I have to stop comparing myself to others. Some people learn differently, some people can read a whole powerpoint presentation and just get it, some people can work on their cadaver in the anatomy lab and just understand all the origins, insertions, and innervations (*shakes fist at them*), and some people don't need to write everything down, colour-code, and then have to re-write everything on a white board like me. I am here at 26 (almost 27!) because I have realized that I love people, functional movement, health, and medicine way too much to settle for anything less. I may not have known I wanted to be a physician when I was 6. I may not have wanted to be a physician until about 2 years ago, but you know what? That is okay. That doesn't mean I will work any less harder, not get up early to workout before my lectures, go to suture skills lab to practice my skills, or enjoy clinical skills as much as I did yesterday if I didn't want to be here. Life is exactly that. Finding your passion, and even through those tough moments of not feeling 100% or even 50% for that matter, you still see light at the end of the tunnel. My light at the end of my tunnel has me owning my own gym, being the lead Physiatrist and educating in functional movement for people with congenital, or devastating life-altering events. Helping them walk again or strengthen their movements is what would absolutely give me joy going into work everyday. Find your light, and just know that it is okay to be okay...and that not everyone's light will burn as bright as yours, or may be burning even brighter at times, but you have your goal..and that's all that matters.

Bye for now! Off to listen to my Mitosis lecture..oh how I wish it was just as in depth as high school.

-E xo

Pics!

Oh how I love these pictures, such a fun day!

Love him

Pretty happy with this guy

Our favourite lake in NZ!

The White Coat Ceremony

Just getting the coat and walking outside for pictures!

Oh how I love them all!

Ross University Thus Far...

Hello my followers! It has been a crazy first two weeks, but one that I have enjoyed thus far.

To update everyone: first medical school exam was yesterday, got an 85%, so things are starting off in the right direction ! I learned a lot about my study habits, and the fact that I actually don't like group studying at all, I love colour coding (obviously), and there is such a thing called "over-studying". I learned that this journey is very unpredictable, but doable. I learned that making study friends is sometimes better than talking friends, because you actually sit and get through stuff! haha But in all seriousness, this journey will be extremely tough, and when every exam comes and goes, it is a nice feeling that I am getting that much closer to obtaining my M.D.!

The island life of Dominica is gorgeous, and the blogs that I have tried to find about Ross University before coming here really didn't touch on all the little things that make it great. One of the biggest things that I was worried about was safety, because we are uprooting ourselves, moving pretty far away from home, and plotting ourselves in the middle of the Caribbean at medical school. The one thing that I love about RUSM is the fact that security patrols the streets at all hours of the night. They have well-equipped trucks, and there are about two at every gate into campus. I wouldn't say that Ross is situated in a "dangerous" area, but I would definitely not walk home alone at night. We are still in a foreign country, and the locals know that we are not from here. The people are super sweet and the bread lady that sits outside of campus with delicious home-made bread will always make you smile. The coconut water/juice man with his trolly walking in front of the "shacks" every day will always make the time to stop and chat with you, and the locals that work at the gym will ALWAYS comment on how tall you are..ok..maybe that's just me haha

When you come to Dominica to go to school, vacation, honey-moon or what have you, it really is beautiful. Depending on how much studying I get done this weekend, a couple of us are going hiking to see this wonderful country that we live on. I always encourage travel. Yes, go home on every break is you absolutely have to, but when will you ever be this close LIVING near South America, Trinidad and Tobago, Martinique, Guadeloupe, St. Kitts, there are so many amazing islands to explore and this is your chance to see the world! We are going home at Christmas for two weeks and then back to the grind after visiting our families, but we will be staying during the breaks to enjoy some travel!

Well guys, I have to start studying this morning and even though we just had an exam yesterday, the work begins again today. Message me with ANY questions and follow me on instagram @d1todr !

Bye for now,

--E xo

Pictures:

Where I study :)

My grandparents watching my White Coat Ceremony from home!

Oh how I wish I had my long hair again :(

Hopefully going to be doing this this wknd!

Love him!

"No Set Date"

Hey followers!

After a week long of orientation, figuring out how to buy electricity in a developing country, setting up an router in Chinese, and knowing the closest laundry service is only a couple meters away (thankfully), you could say my first week on the island has been chaotic. But manageable.

When I have told people that I have been accepted to medical school in the Caribbean, the first response I get is: "ohhh wow! You are SO lucky!" The same exact response I got when I told people I received a full basketball scholarship which would pay for my entire education. "You must have won the lottery!" But at the end of the day...I have been resilient to get into medical school, making sure my applications were impeccable, grammar correct and syntax superb, nothing was out of order. Same with my basketball. I made sure I did everything correctly for coaches to recruit me and wanting me on their team. It has NOTHING to do with luck...all hard work, some tenacity, and having "no" as motivation to do that much better. Ross University is located in one of the most beautiful islands in the Caribbean and I am very fortunate to be here and pursuing my career, but luck has had no hand in why I am here. Every single person that I have met on Dominica, has a unique and amazing story...and makes me realize we are all here with a common goal..to obtain and M.D. and get out. We all want to be closer to home, closer to friends, closer to hospitals where we could be making connections and networking ourselves with our future colleagues..all benefits of getting into a Canadian or American University. But we are here, and let me tell you...the facilities are amazing. For anyone reading this and not sure about the Caribbean route...DO IT. The anatomy lab is one of the best equipped facilities in the medical world and our class sizes are not that bad. I think I have 250 in my incoming class. Back home in Canada, Queen's University takes the most students topped at 99. Not 100...99...I won't get into that here..it makes my blood boil too quickly haha But you know what? Everyone is SO excited to be here, from the students. the faculty, the support staff, CTL (center or teaching and learning) and they all want us to succeed. At the end of the day, whether you have went to the U.S, Australia, or the Caribbean, what hospitals want to see is that Step 1 score (if you are planning to do rotations in the states, and possibly residency later on)...we are all in the same boat when it comes to standardized examinations. Work hard here, and you will still have that M.D after your name like every other medical student. (Just my advice:))

I have titled this blog as "No Set Date" as this past week we had an amazing speaker who is an alumni of Ross and is now a Pediatric Hospitalist in California. She said something in her hour long talk that really stuck out to me. That always having a set date is going to drain the life out of you. If you are always thinking that assignments are only due on this day, or an exam in this date and then are "free", or after finals are over you can finally party and relax, whichever you prefer, will have you burnt out by the end of it all. Life should never have set dates, just let it happen.

You will miss all the small and amazing stuff in the middle of life if you are always looking forward to the end.

Be conscious of your surroundings, be happy, be healthy, and be present. Don't think about two weeks from now. Don't think of four years from now (I HAVE to stop doing that) and be here. Right now. It is 6:55pm on Sunday night and tomorrow is my first day of medical school. Am I nervous? Of course. But I am ready to conquer Day 1 and move on to Day 2 when that day is over. No set dates...you don't need them..the only day you need to worry about is today...and that my friends, is a beautiful thing.

Off to pre-read before my life-long journey of learning starts tomorrow, thank you for all your support. You make me want to keep pursuing this blog!

Bye for now,

-E xo

Pictures thus far on the beautiful island of Dominica!

Cooking in our apartment!

Our first big meal after the Portsmouth Markets. Amazing local fruits, veggies, and tuna!

I love him.

Our home :)..the yellow apartments!

Love these ladies!

Dominica Travel Tips..and oh yeah...we made it!

Well folks! We have landed! It was an adventure and a half that's for sure!

Travel: Toronto--> St. Martin/Saint Maarten--> Stayed the night--> Dominica

The tiniest plane will take you from St. Martin to Dominica and let me tell you....it is scary at first ...then when it finally takes off...it is okay. Just breathe. If Steve who is 6'5" and me who is 6'4" find it okay...I bet you will too. It really isn't that bad.

When we landed, we had to go through immigration. A tiny Ross University sign in desk is visible before you present your acceptance letter, immigration letter and your passport. It is hectic, but manageable as all you want to do is get to the other side to claim your luggage. A bus will take most students to Ross, which is another 45 min (windy) ride to campus, which I never knew about so I am letting you know now it is absolutely stunning. When we were in the bus, there was a light mist coming down, and over the palm trees with cows grazing amongst the intense green....I could only smile. It truly is beautiful.

As soon as we got to campus, we had to do a fast-paced check-in. Thankfully we stayed over in St. Martin the night before because it would have been an extremely long day. HIGHLY advise breaking up your flight and NOT FLYING through Puerto Rico booked by ProTravel <-- the travel agency Ross highly recommends...in my opinion..I am doing the same searches as them..and we found some cheap, direct flights. Some unfortunate students got stuck in PR due to wind and could not fly out until the next day. St. Martin is your best bet. Also, make sure to get here a couple days before your official start day of orientation...whether it be Jan, May, or September. You need those extra days to adjust, attend the campus tour, IT mandatory session, buying electricity, (which is not included in your lease), buying a phone and SIM with the local LIME service, buy groceries, and take a deep breath before the 8:30am-4:30pm orientation days that last all week. (highly recommend)

The wonderful people at Ross will contact your landlord to let them know you are here and that is such a relief as it was dark, and we had no idea which way to go. It was about 8:30pm by the time we got to our apartment and our flight landed at 4:05pm in Dominica. Our apartment is the cutest. A BIG change from a basement apartment in North York...it has SUNLIGHT yayyyyy. How studying will change with a bit of life in me lol That dark apartment was getting so depressing, and to even help the situation here, our apartment is bright yellow! I just love it.

Using our backpacks and running shoes, we got our "hike" mindset on and walked to the nearest IGA to get some food, which is about a 12 min walk from our apartment...and a 6 minute walk to the campus North Gates..so I absolutely love our location on Banana Trail..yes...Banana Trail. Just let that sink in for a second.

$200 later...we are packed up and ready for the week. The food is very pricey so make sure to pack your favs in a barrel...I would personally avoid food in your checked bag...you will be asked numerous times to declare food and that may hold you up if you have tight connection times.

Dominica is gorgeous and I can't wait to explore the island before Semester 1 starts on May 11th. There is a tour tomorrow that Steve and I have signed up for. A tour to see the Kalinago Territory and Emerald pool...you can google that now...yup..pretty awesome. We are going to jump in even though they say it is super cold...but seeing that we are from The True White North..I think we can handle it :)

Well fellow followers it is 10:10pm right now and we have to be at the gates at 8:45am for the shuttle for our tour. Want to get a good nights rest as it is a full day ahead. One week of orientation. May 11th first day. May 12th parents. May 15th White Coat...it's actually happening. I am going to be a Dr. Cronk!

P.s As I logged onto my computer after finally getting internet...D1toDR has hit 5,000 views! THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Bye for now,

-E xo

Dominica from today! Didn't have much time between pre-orientation events!

Our walk to the beach on campus!

At PBH down near the water.

Beautiful.

Perfect.

Sweaty and thirsty!

Ahhh a refreshing drink before our campus tour. 

To Dominica We Go

Okay peeps...I know my title of the last blog post was titled "The Waiting Game" and I'm sorry for those who were anxiously waiting for the results and I have now posted two weeks later about it! The results were posted twenty-four hours later on April 2nd, and I ended up getting an 84% on my final! I PASSED AND I AM HEADING TO MEDICAL SCHOOL AT ROSS UNIVERSITY!!!!!!!

As soon as I found out I passed, I literally had to get on the computer, book my final flight from Saint Martaan to Dominica and confirm my other flight from Toronto to Saint Martaan. So much stuff had to be done from getting bombarded with emails welcoming me to Ross, securing an apartment, getting my Ross #, obtaining my loan, and ordering the numerous medical supplies that are required before we touch down. Not to mention, I had an Ohio trip planned in there as well to visit one of my best friends and former teammate from first year university at Gardner-Webb. Such a fun and eventful four days and much needed as she is getting married this summer to her fiance Jordan, who I also knew from his frequent visits to GWU to visit Ash when we were only 19! Crazy how times flies. I won't be able to attend her wedding this July due to school, and I will miss that moment when in the movies the bride looks over and smiles at the bridesmaids! Does that happen? lol maybe I am just picturing that happening, but it is definitely a moment that I will miss for sure, but I know she understands my huge commitment with school coming up. 

So now I am at my grandma's, as she eats her chili and I am on the computer...she is still trying to figure out how I type so fast as she just watches my fingers dance along the keypad. How technology has changed since she was little, crazy to think that, but that is a whole other blog post. I have printed everything that I needed to today and have finalized my trip with my Ross Canada Ambassador. I have ordered all my necessary medical supplies, purchased books, paper, every colour of pen under the sun, and highlighters galore, can you tell I LOVE stationary? I am definitely ready to start this LONG journey, but it will definitely be worth it in the end. Steve and I leave next Wed! I can't believe I started MERP in December, and now I am off to the island. Wow. I am way too anxious.

To all the future MERPERS and Ross applicants, please feel free to keep reading as I detail what is it going to be like on the island! I will be writing about everything and will not be holding anything back. I will blog about the good and the bad and everything in between, because that is what it is all about. There will be times where I know I will feel frustrated, at a loss, and feeling that dreaded "is this really what I want to do?" question. When times get tough, just remember why you are here and keep that end goal in mind. I have the best support group cheering me on....from the bleachers at my basketball games to cheering on skype...I am very lucky. 

Wish me luck on this flight! :)

Pictures!

Kaikoura!

love him

Clay Cliffs

Typical

Queenstown

Church at Lake Tekapo

Such a cool place.

NZ pit stop 

Smartest birds ever

Beautiful scenery

Best Indian food place ever!

Waitomo Glow Worm Caves

The Waiting Game

Well folks! As some of you were made aware of my lack of presence on the blog that the last four weeks have been absolutely crazy. I could not believe how fast a month goes by when your head is literally and figuratively in the books. There has been times where I would just lay my head down on all the piles of papers and just whisper into the paper slowly: "plleeeaseeeeeee just go iiinnnnnn my headddddddd". Thankfully, I think that paid off. haha ok in all seriousness, my 4.5 hour final did go well this morning...or so I hope.

The grades are released tomorrow afternoon, but I feel confident that I studied my buns off to do well. The one thing that I have heard the most about medical school is that awful feeling of "am I going to make it?" It is that constant battle of overcoming that feeling with every exam, lab, clinical, and step exam. It is that constant "I have NO IDEA how that exam went" kinda feeling, and it sucks...but for all the medical students that I have talked with, every time a grade is posted or every assignment that is handed back, and acknowledging to yourself that you have put all your hard work into it, that seeing that passing grade feels so worth it. My first of those sort of those feelings is happening right now, and it does suck, but with my family's support and Steve's as well for being there for me, I am genuinely happy right now. I do not want to get too ahead of myself as the grades are not released for another 24 hours, but when I was on Question 190 out of 200 today, I could feel myself getting choked up...not because of any other reason that I knew that this is the path for me. This is it. This is what I am meant to do. It just clicked for me in that moment. I know I would be happy being a Physician's Assistant in the P.A program at McMaster or University of Toronto, (and not taking away from the many students that take that route) but I just do not think that I would have been completely fulfilled in the long run. For anyone that knows me, being a type A and having an alpha female personality, I am definitely a leader at heart-and that is what I want to do-lead a health team of professionals. So after sitting there thinking: "yup..I can definitely do this." and after the 5 minute warning was given by my professor, reality set in that I still have 10 more questions to go! Yikes! Thankfully it was the last bit of anatomy..with pictures..boom.

For celebration that I am done, Steve and I are going to a movie tonight! Much needed as I told him yesterday "after this exam, you will have your girlfriend back!". Trust me...I looked rough...like...really rough haha I just want people reading this to know that do not be scared of following your dream...for me..my dream was to find something that I am passionate about...that included using my brain, helping others, encompassing my athletic background, but above all, being challenged every single day you go into "work". I posted a status on facebook the other day saying never settle, and I believe in that so much. I could have stayed in Parham, went to Queen's U, graduated, probably did my Master's at Queen's, and have never really left. I know I do NOT want that. I know a lot of people who do, and that's fine..but I definitely have the travel bug now and thankfully I have the ability to do that with Ross University being in the Caribbean. Again...I can not get ahead of myself but if all goes well, Steve and I will be leaving April 30th for the island of Dominica! Wow. I can not believe that time has come. I am so excited.

All in all, listen to that voice inside your head and find a way to get it to shush up sometimes! Mine was that push to apply to med school one last time and after this program in Toronto, I could not be happier. Honestly. This is the first time in my life my hard work towards something has paid off. I really like that feeling.

Have a great Wednesday guys and a great start to this April month. I have a feeling it is going to be a great one :)

Bye for now,

-E xo

Pics below!

No matter how stressed you are....just know there is someone in the world that would be willing to trade places with you.

The Big Mango in Bowen, Queensland

2/4 sisters :)

Will be going to some games before I leave! Right Jules :)

Meeting the legend himself. Dmitry Klokov.

My professors will stand on anything to be as tall as me!

Actual height difference :)

I love this shot.